Standings

Squid Wrap Tentacles Around First Place CHARLESTON, WV--The scoreboard said one thing, but the instant replays shown on television said something else entirely. While the West Virginia crowd watched Terrell Owens dancing in the end zone and flashing a quarter-million dollar gilded mouthpiece while flexing his biceps, home viewers were seeing a replay that clearly illustrated Owens dragging his knee on the one yard line and rolling out of bounds all while juggling 85 Seaside Squid Pts Trent Green 7 Edgerrin James 27 Rudi Johnson 7 Joe Horn 20 Terrell Owens 15 Plaxico Burress 4 Randy McMichael 12 Jason Elam 7 Dolphins 25 79 West Virginia Woolfs Pts Michael Vick 33 Warrick Dunn 17 Ahman Green 11 Randy Moss 18 Javon Walker 13 Deion Branch 1 Antonio Gates 6 Lawrence Tynes 5 Bills 14 the ball. Nonetheless, the referee signaled a touchdown and an irate Cole Ford was unable to challenge the play. "When I tried to throw the red flag to challenge, the head linesman told me, 'It's too late, eh. They're already kicking the extra point, you hoser.'" Ford tried to explain there was no extra point during the exclusive one-on-one showdown between Owens and Randy Moss. "All he told me was 'Well, Niagara Falls is prettier from our side, eh.' I demand justice!" Ford screamed. "Attica! Turn those machines back on!" "The Woolfs can complain all they want," dismissed Seaside GM Dave Bargman. "They were the ones who decided to let it all ride on a one-on-one match up. They'll tell you they spotted us nine points going in, but I say we spotted them 20 points by not learning our lesson last week and starting Trent Green again." 95 Toledo Neanderthal Pts Daunte Culpepper 31 Domanick Davis 19 Jamal Lewis 18 Isaac Bruce 14 Derrick Mason 14 Darrell Jackson 8 Bubba Franks 1 Josh Brown 5 Cowboys 29 60 West Coast Mennonites Pts Tom Brady 17 LaDainian Tomlinson 22 Emmitt Smith 9 David Givens 14 Keyshawn Johnson 5 Justin McCareins 2 Marcus Pollard 9 Adam Vinatieri 11 Colts 15 92 Beaver State Woodies Pts Steve McNair 23 Brian Westbrook 12 Clinton Portis 9 Torry Holt 24 Koren Robinson 15 Marvin Harrison 13 Kellen Winslow 1 Jeff Wilkins 6 Steelers 9 109 Athenian Woodchucks Pts Donovan McNabb 43 Curtis Martin 30 Priest Holmes 16 Rod Gardner 7 Jimmy Smith 7 Peerless Price 3 Boo Williams 0 Matt Stover 12 Packers 11 102 Mayberry Fifes Pts Aaron Brooks 41 DeShaun Foster 23 Deuce McAllister 0 Hines Ward 22 Chris Chambers 15 Andre Davis 5 Alge Crumpler 6 Mike Vanderjagt 7 Vikings 7 99 Bakersfield Circus Bears Pts Peyton Manning 34 Marshall Faulk 14 Travis Henry 8 Reggie Wayne 20 Eric Moulds 10 Moose Muhammad 3 Jeremy Shockey 7 Jay Feely 10 Eagles 17 40 Sin City Grifters Pts Matt Hasselbeck 11 Ontarrio Smith 13 Fred Taylor 5 Andre Johnson 16 Santana Moss 10 Chad Johnson 6 Dallas Clark 0 David Akers 10 Ravens 28 45 Moose River Mounties Pts Brett Favre 18 Corey Dillon 16 Quentin Griffin 12 Rod Smith 11 Michael Clayton 10 Cedrick Martin 0 Todd Heap 4 John Hall 2 Patsies 31

Player of the Week Curtis Martin Athenian Woodchucks Week Two Team Pts Donovan McNabb, ATH 43 Curtis Martin, ATH 30 Edgerrin James, SEA 27 Torry Holt, BEAV 24 Hines Ward, MAY 22 Joe Horn, SEA Reggie Wayne, BAK 20 Randy McMichael, SEA 12 Matt Stover, ATH 12 Patsies, MOOS 31 Disappointments of the Week Fred Taylor Sin City Grifters All-Dissappointment Team Pts Trent Green, SEA 7 Deuce McAllister, MAY 0 Fred Taylor, SIN 5 Cedrick Martin, MOOS 0 Deion Branch, WV 1 Justin McCareins, WC 2 Dallas Clark, SIN Boo Williams, ATH 0 John Hall, MOOS 2 Vikings, MAY 7