59

68
Improvement!
BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA--
Mayberry Fifes
Pts
Brian Griese
30
Jerome Bettis
15
Mike Alstott
13
Keenan McCardell
23
Ed McCaffrey
13
Jaquez Green
6
Freddie Jones
7
Jason Hanson
4
Buccaneers Defense
38
Mayberry Fifes
Pts
Drew Bledsoe
20
Stephen Davis
29
Jamal Anderson
15
Cris Carter
11
Peter Warrick
10
Jimmy Smith
8
Tony Gonzalez
6
Adam Vinatieri
1
Rams Defense
8

95

105
Moose Gore Bears
MOOSE RIVER, CANADA--Bakersfield can make as many excuses as they want. Their receivers low numbers were due to WR coach Mr. T sleeping through most of the game. Terrell Davis's refusal to suit up has nothing to do with the rumored demands he's making to return to Sin City. Owner Robb Baker disappearance will only strengthen the team's resolve. Whatever.

Despite a Warner-esque performance by Steve Beurlein and a Faulk-inese game by Marshall Faulk, Moose River's passing game again set the BFL standard as Kurt Warner completed 16 consecutive passes at one point. Moose Muhammad and Marvin Harrison each caught TDs, and were joined in the endzone by Ricky Williams for the first score of his career.

"I pity the fool who says I was sleepin'," argued Mr. T following the game. "T was just resting his eyes!"
Bakersfield Circus Bears
Pts
Steve Beuerlein
48
Marshall Faulk
26
Larry Centers
7
Terrell Owens
8
Andre Rison
5
Shawn Jefferson
4
Shannon Sharpe
12
Mike Hollis
21
Patsies Defense
11
Moose River Mounties
Pts
Kurt Warner
45
Ricky Williams
12
Ron Dayne
5
Marvin Harrison
27
Moose Muhammad
21
Jerry Rice
4
Byron Chamberlain
0
Morton Andersen
2
Saints Defense
36
Player of the Week

Tim Couch
West Virginia Woolfs

2 TDs and over 300 yards passing brings first victory to Beckley
Week Three Team
Pts
Tim Couch, WV
42
Marshall Faulk, BAK
42
Stephen Davis, WCM
29
Isaac Bruce, EAST
28
Tim Brown, EAST
25
Keenan McCardell, MAY
23
Jackie Harris, SIN
9
Jeff Wilkins, TOL
12
Jaguars, SIN
43
Disappointment of the Week

Peerless Price
Sin City Grifters

First receiver in BFL history to record negative points.
All-Dissappointment Team
Pts
Brett Favre, TOL
0
Stacey Mack, TOL
3
Shawn Bryson, SIN
Curtis P. Enis, BAK
4
Peerless Price, SIN
-1
Jake Reed, WV
0
James McKnight, MOOS
1
Ricky Dudley, ATH
1
Brett Conway, ATH
0
Lions, BAK
0

108

115
Reports of Mennonites' Death Prove Premature
BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA--After last week's convincing victory, there were many willing to pave the Lagers' road to the Bucco Bruce Bowl with good press. Before Boston could kick in the cruise control, West Coast sent a reminder that road currently runs through Beverly Hills.

The same writers who jumped on the Lager bandwagon were also willing to add a paragraph or two to the Mennonites' obituary, though receiver Jimmy Smith wasn't thrilled to have dirt thrown on them just yet. "We looked awful last week, but everyone's going to have a game like that. All the sudden, we went from being the most feared team in the league, to the most overrated in one game?"

Smith took it upon himself to prove West Coast was still the reigning power in the Williams Division, catching 3 touchdown passes, all for over 40 yards.

Despite a career days by Payton Manning and Rod Smith, the Lagers quickly learned why for four years, the Mennonites have had the most feared arial assault in the league. "We got away from the running game," lamented Bill Walsh. "We tried to show them we could beat them at their own game."

The victory was particularly sweet for former Lager Drew Bledsoe who had been drummed out of Boston after two disappointing seasons. "I have a lot more confidence here, maybe because of the organization's reputation, I don't know. The point is, here I don't have to be player of the week every week for us to win. Look at Peyton's numbers and realize they still lost. What if he'd had an 'average' game?"
Boston Lagers
Pts
Peyton Manning
58
Robert Smith
8
Curtis Martin
4
Rod Smith
27
Torry Holt
12
Randy Moss
11
Ken Dilger
11
Olindo Mare
1
Titans Defense
21
West Coast Mennonites
Pts
Drew Bledsoe
24
Stephen Davis
9
Jamal Anderson
4
Jimmy Smith
55
Cris Carter
20
Peter Warrick
8
Tony Gonzalez
3
Adam Vinatieri
13
Rams Defense
24

117

77
Westbrook's Season Over
TOLEDO, OHIO--Charlie Batch has started seeking a trade. Marcus Robinson's dropped passes and--he hopes--his value. Antonio Freeman dodged the Neaderthal-retainee bullet once, and hope he won't have to tempt fate again.

For the second straight year, a Toledo retainee is lost for the season. Vinny Testaverde ruptured his Achilles' tendon in last year's season opener. Michael Westbrook was lucky enough to make it to week two.

Actually, Westbrook was able to make it through week two, which may have been the problem. Early in the second half, Westbrook went down and clutched his knee, though he continued to play afterward. Somewhere during all that, he tore his ACL and will miss the rest of the 2000 season.

"Poop," said Ahtouk.
East Coast Killah Bees
Pts
Rich Gannon
39
Edgerrin James
29
Tim Biakabutuka
15
Eric Moulds
13
Isaac Bruce
12
Tim Brown
8
Wesley Walls
17
Sebastian Janikowski
8
Bangles Defense
6
Toledo Neanderthal
Pts
Jeff Garcia
10
Tyrone Wheatley
19
Robert Chancey
11
Antonio Freeman
24
Michael Westbrook
7
Marcus Robinson
3
Kyle Brady
2
Mike Vanderjagt
7
Ravens Defense
24

48

34
Gibbs Misses Victory Lane Again
BECKLEY, WEST VIRGINIA--In his NFL career, Joe Gibbs took the Redskins to three Super Bowls. As a NASCAR owner, he has become accustomed to the winner's circle with the success of Bobby Labonte and Tony Stewart. Yet in the Buccaneer Football League, he is still scrapping for his first win.

Unlike Stewart, who won rookie of the year honors, Gibbs's young football team isn't finding similar instant success. Akili Smith and Tim Couch both have performed poorly at quarterback. Duce Staley rushed for over 200 yards last week, but couldn't keep that pace, getting only 11 today.

Staley, who broke out as a star in Athens, admitted he was distracted by playing his first game against his former team. "You look across the field and say, 'Hey, I'm on the wrong sideline!' for a second." Athens had to let Staley go in the draft, but hoped to get him back.
Athenian Woodchucks
Pts
Duante Culpepper
20
Errict Rhett
7
James Stewart
6
Wayne Chrebet
21
Albert Connell
4
JuJuan Dawson
3
Ricky Dudley
5
Brett Conway
4
Broncos Defense
39
West Virginia Woolfs
Pts
Akili Smith
12
Duce Staley
11
Emmitt Smith
6
Frank Sanders
19
Terry Glenn
11
Jake Reed
8
David Sloan
1
Al Del Greco
5
Rednecks Defense
22

Standings
McKay Division
W
L
T
Pts
Moose River Mounties
2
0
0
293
Mayberry Fifes
2
0
0
269
East Coast Killah Bees
1
1
0
247
Sin City Grifters
1
1
0
236
Athenian Woodchucks
1
1
0
229
Williams Division
W
L
T
Pts
Boston Lagers
1
1
0
297
West Coast Mennonites
1
1
0
246
Toledo Neanderthal
1
1
0
211
Bakersfield Circus Bears
0
2
0
238
West Virginia Woolfs
0
2
0
221