 83 |
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 74 |
83 |
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74 |
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Tighter Still STADE ATLANTIS--One thing is clear in the Williams Division playoff picture. Boston will not get a bye in the first round of the playoffs. Beyond that, anything can happen. Two game separate
"This division is going to go down to the wire," said Wombats coach Sam Wyche, "and no matter what, a deserving team is going to have to stay home." Kurt Warner put up his standard MVP-caliber numbers, but at the final gun, he wasn't the quarterback everyone was talking about. Billy Joe Tolliver, after invoking the negative scoring rule two weeks ago for Bakersfield, the ousted Circus Bear won player of the week honors with three touchdowns and machine-like passing accuracy. "You have no idea what a relief it is to be on a team whose pre-signing physical doesn't involve a pudding enema. How well would you play if you were there if playing well meant you'd be retained for next year?" |
 Dolphins Defense Mayberry Fifes Averaged 33 points per game before chalking up the goose egg to put Mayberry in sole possession of worst record in BFL.
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BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA--If you ask Mennonites owner Greg Hulke, he doesn't think his team lost the Bucco Bruce Bowl last season. They didn't win it, but they didn't lose it either. The Grifters and Mennonites tied and the Grifters were awarded the win on a tie-breaker. A game which is usually one of the league's greatest rivalries and a rematch of last year's championship came and went with little fanfare. "We've been distracted all week," admitted Grifter quarterback Mark Brunell. "At the begining of the season we had this game circled on the calendar, but somewhere in all the injuries, the sales, and roster moves, we completely overlooked it." "Sure," groaned Cris Carter, who caught three touchdowns, single-handedly outscoring the entire Sin City receiving corps. "Let them make whatever excuses they want."
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HONOLULU, HAWAII--Either the Headbangers are really good, or the McKay Division is really bad. Actually, why does it have to be one or the other? Playing in a division where they could wind up beign the only winning team, the Headbangers have already clinched the McKay Division title, giving them a day off during the first round of the playoffs. The Lagers had to envy the Headbangers, or for that matter, anyone in the McKay. At 4-6, the Lagers are in last place in the Williams, but would be in second place were they to switch divisions. After issuing the ultimatum that Coach Bill Parcells would be fired if the Lagers lost, owner Sam Adams will have to decide whether to follow through with the threat.
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BAKERSFIELD, VERMONT--For two weeks, the Circus Bears faced the best teams the BFL had to offer, and prognosticators figured they would lose, raising the ire of owner Robb Baker. This week, his team was able to get a little revenge against the handicappers of America when they played the one team worse than they are. Mayberry coach Joe Paterno spent most of the game looking at his watch while his team called their own plays. When asked what he qwas waiting for, he looked at his watch and gleefully announced, "Thirty-thousand, two-hundred thirty-seven minutes until I get fired!"
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