|
On Top Thanks to T.O. TD
PUEBLO--In their first five combined starts, Tom Brady and Rich Gannon were averaging just over 52 points a game which put record book publishers on alert. Instead, ticket holders were stuck watching a Tom Brady even Saved by the Bell star and Tom Brady Fan Club Commandant Mario Lopez had to admit was pretty ugly.
West Coast has two losses
67
|
West Coast Menonites | Pts | |
Tom Brady |
9 | |
LaDainian Tomlinson |
27 | |
Lamar Smith |
9 | |
Rod Smith |
14 | |
Eric Moulds |
13 | |
Jerry Porter |
6 | |
Marcus Pollard |
12 | |
Adam Vinatieri |
4 | |
Steelers |
44 |
| 
69
|
Pueblo Prairiedogs | Pts | |
Rich Gannon |
28 | |
Charlie Garner |
13 | |
Tiki Barber |
10 | |
Terrell Owens |
24 | |
Joe Horn |
16 | |
Hines Ward |
5 | |
Randy McMichael |
9 | |
Olindo Mare |
8 | |
Panthers |
27 |
|
by a total of four points. "It looked like we had this one," groaned defensive coordinators Sifl and Olly. "Maybe we should bench the Steelers for another month." The Steelers defense has been riding pine since week one's loss to Bakersfield. However, in this game, they managed a fumble recovery, three interceptions, five sacks, and a punt return touchdown, nearly securing the win, but unable to stop a late Terrell Owens TD.
"You can't stop me," Owens declared when asked how the loss would impact the team. "I'm already the greatest receiver in BFL history and anyone who doesn't believe that better step up and recognize." Owens added he's "all about team and--you know--all that shit."
Kicking Woolf Tail
ASBURY PARK--On a team self-proclaimed to be the best of all time and featuring what some will argue is the best rushing corps, top defense, one of the most underrated quarterbacks in the league, and an all-start rotation of receivers, it's hard for a kicker to get much publicity. Somehow, Jason Elam finds a way.
"I can't believe we couldn't get him at least another extra point," sighed Killah Bees head coach Leroy Hoard. An extra point would have tied Elam with Gary Anderson for the second most polific day for a kicker in BFL history. Two more would have tied him with Jeff Wilkins for the best day ever.
Rumors indicate New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey ordered Hoard to go for a two-point conversion that failed in the third quarter.
West Virginia struggled with Tommy Maddox filling in for missing Donovan McNabb at quarterback. Woolf receivers managed just four catches for 38 yards combined, a total surpassed by each of the Bees' receivers.
61
West Virginia
Woolfs | Pts | |
Tommy Maddox |
17 | |
Ahman Green |
29 | |
Priest Holmes |
25 | |
Amani Toomer |
3 | |
David Patten |
3 | |
Chris Chambers |
0 | |
Todd Heap |
5 | |
Ryan Longwell |
4 | |
Dolphins |
24 |
| 
103
East Coast
Killah Bees | Pts | |
Aaron Brooks |
27 | |
Ricky Williams |
22 | |
Shaun Alexander |
20 | |
Isaac Bruce |
15 | |
Torry Holt |
15 | |
Jimmy Smith |
7 | |
Kyle Brady |
0 | |
Jason Elam |
21 | |
Buccaneers |
25 |
|
|
Vander-jacked!
BAKERSFIELD, VT--Jason Elam may have outscored Mike Vandejagt on the day, but there's no way his kicks were bigger. Five field goals matched the Lagers' loss total coming into Bakersfield and--thankfully--going out as well. Vanderjagt's 19 points ties him for fifth best day by a kicker in league history, but more importantly, made the difference in a 16-point win.
"When you're losing over and over, you start to gorget you're supposed to be winning," philosophizes Jerome Bettis who rushed for 109 yards and two touchdowns, "After awhile, you get into this position and you start to wonder when the wheels are going to fall off." The wheels stayed on for the Bus and his crew for the first time all year. The win leaves the Lagers mired firmly in last place at 1-5, a game out of a playoff berth.
For Bakersfield, the loss brought out the critics who are so fond of criticizing the Circus Bear's two man game. "Peyton and Marshall will go off and get theirs, but if the rest of the team does squat, look where it gets you," explained a shirtless man who had never played nor coached a day of organized football in his life.
106
Boston
Lagers | Pts | |
Jeff Garcia |
32 | |
Jerome Bettis |
23 | |
Kevin Barlow |
6 | |
Corey Bradford |
13 | |
Brian Finneran |
11 | |
Troy Brown |
7 | |
Tony Gonzalez |
8 | |
Mike Vanderjagt |
19 | |
Browns |
7 |
| 
90
Bakersfield
Circus Bears | Pts | |
Peyton Manning |
38 | |
Marshall Faulk |
26 | |
Stephen Davis |
9 | |
Qadry Ismail |
8 | |
Terry Glenn |
4 | |
Keenan McCardell |
1 | |
Shannon Sharpe |
4 | |
Mike Hollis |
7 | |
49ers |
13 |
|
|
Fearless Price
LAS VEGAS--Peerless Price blew kisses to the crowd as he scored his touchdown in the fourth quarter. As boos and booze rained onto the field, he smiled, knowing he'd not only secured his team a win, but also handed the Grifters a loss.
"After all the hell [Grifters GM Jake Bell] put me through," Price growls, "I know you're supposed to say a win is a win and no game is more important than another, but this is the best win I can imagine right now." Price, dubbed "Worthless" by Bell, proved his value in catching eight balls for 121 yards and a TD.
"You think he matters?" Bell sighed as though too busy to worry about Price, "Look take out his points altogether. We lost because our defense didn't do anything to stop anybody. We were pathetic and even if Price had stayed in Canada, we'd have still lost by seven."
103
Moose River
Mounties | Pts | |
Joey Harrington |
34 | |
Garrison Hearst |
11 | |
Fred Taylor |
6 | |
Peerless Price |
23 | |
Joey Galloway |
17 | |
"Angry Ed" McCaffrey |
9 | |
Frank Wychek |
4 | |
Phil Dawson |
5 | |
Colts |
28 |
| 
73
Sin City
Grifters | Pts | |
Drew Bledsoe |
30 | |
Deuce McAllister |
13 | |
Edgerrin James |
8 | |
Randy Moss |
14 | |
Rod Gardner |
6 | |
Donald Driver |
5 | |
Bubba Franks |
14 | |
Morton Andersen |
11 | |
Jaguars |
6 |
|
|
Aerial Assault
MAYBERRY, NC--With Jerry Rice, Plaxico Burress, and Marvin Harrison, the Neanderthal might not need the team jet to fly back home. The three combined for 437 yards in the air. For what is believed to be a BFL first, the weekend's top three receivers in terms of yardage all play for the same team, though none reached the end zone.
"I suppose it's a nice trivia question," Rice shrugged, "but I'd feel a lot more secure when I look at the scoreboard knowing a few of us had touchdowns." The Neanderthal had nothing to worry about, however, as they capped off a Williams sweep of interdivision play. McKay teams had beaten Williams opponents in eight of nine meetings this season, but were 0-3 today.
Brad Johnson, despite a poor statistical game garnered praise from team owner, Hollywood Walker. "Johnson played a great game and should have won it. He manages the clock, gets the ball to the right people... this is just frustrating."
120
Toledo
Neanderthal | Pts | |
Brett Favre |
32 | |
Michael Pittman |
16 | |
Corey Dillon |
14 | |
Marvin Harrison |
22 | |
Plaxico Burress |
17 | |
Jerry Rice |
15 | |
Itula Mili |
3 | |
Jose Cortez |
8 | |
Giants |
7 |
| 
72
Mayberry
Fifes | Pts | |
Brad Johnson |
6 | |
Michael Bennett |
21 | |
Clinton Portis |
17 | |
Curtis Conway |
17 | |
Keyshawn Johnson |
8 | |
Tim Brown |
5 | |
eric Johnson |
0 | |
Martin Gramatica |
5 | |
Chargers |
7 |
|
|
|
Mike Vanderjagt
Boston Lagers
|
Week Six Team |
Pts | |
Joey Harrington, MOOS |
34 | |
Ahman Green, WV |
29 | |
LaDainian Tomlinson, WC |
27 | |
Terrell Owens, PBLO |
24 | |
Peerless Price, MOOS |
23 | |
Marvin Harrison, TOL |
22 | |
Bubba Franks, SIN |
14 | |
Jason Elam, EAST |
21 | |
Steelers, WC |
44 |
|
Disappointment of the Week |
West Virginia Receivers
West Virginia Woolfs
|
All-Dissappointment Team |
Pts | |
Brad Johnson, MAY |
6 | |
Kevin Barlow, BOS |
6 | |
Fred Taylor, MOOS |
6 | |
Chris Chambers, WV |
0 | |
Keenan McCardell, BAK |
1 |
David Patten, WV
Amani Toomer, WV |
3 |
Kyle Brady, EAST
Eric Johnson, MAY |
0 |
Ryan Longwell, WV
Adam Vinatieri, WC |
4 | |
Jaguars, SIN |
6 |
|
