103

91

Favre Returns to Familiar Ground

91 17 Record Crowd Sees Tarpons Continue Tradition MESA, AZ--The largest crowd in Tangerine Tarpon history turned out for opening day and saw their boys continue the tradition they started last year. The 24 fan turnout was only 5,976 shy of a sellout at Dobson High School stadium. Eric Gromley, the Tarpons' season ticket holder, was particularly excited. "The fans are really getting into this team. Just look at this, I have to share my section with someone else. That's the first time that's ever happened!" The longstanding tradition of not just losing, but losing big, was carried on by a new generation Tarpons, led by rookie quarterback Ryan Leaf. "It's not easy," said a uncharacteristically humble Leaf. "You come in here and see names of great quarterbacks like John Friesze who went before you. It's awe-inspiring." The burgeoning crowd saw another tradition fall though as none of the Tarpons sustained season-ending injuries in the season opener. West Coast Mennonites Pts Tangerine Tarpons Pts Dan Marino 25 Ryan Leaf 21 Eddie George 17 Adrian Murrell 4 Robert Smith 12 Mike Alstott 3 Cris Carter 19 Jerry Rice 17 Tim Brown 11 Michael Jackson 9 Robert Brooks 1 Karl Williams 3 Joe Jurevicius 2 Ben Coates 1 Al Del Greco 12 Pete Stoyanovich 15 Chiefs 56 Jaguars 8

Player of the Week Chiefs Defense West Coast Mennonites 10 sacks, 10 fumbles, and a safety leads to 56 points against the new-look Tarpons. Tied for third highest defensive total in BFL history. Runners-up Garrison Hearst - Scored 36 points with nearly 200 yards rushing and 2TDs in Neanderthal victory over Falcons. Randy Moss - Rookie receiver scores 2 long TDs and 24 points to lead Lagers over New England rival Bakersfield.

Week One Team Pts Brett Favre, Texas 49 Garrison Hearst, Toledo 36 Terrell Davis, Sin City Dorsey Levens, Athens 20 Joey Galloway, Waterworld 29 Antonio Freeman, Toledo 25 Randy Moss, Boston 24 Shannon Sharpe, Bakersfield 14 Pete Stoyanovich, Tangerine 15 Chiefs, West Coast 56 All-Dissappointment Team Pts Jeff George, Maltese Jake Plummer, Bakersfield 20 Mike Alstott, Tangerine 3 Charlie Garner, Maltese 0 Michael Westbrook, Toledo 2 Jake Reed, Maltese 1 Irving Fryar 0 Ben Coates, Tangerine 1 Greg Davis, Bakersfield 0 Lions, Bakersfield 4

108 84 Bears Gather No Moss BAKERSFIELD, VT--Bill Parcells did his best to hide his smile as Randy Moss entered the press room next to the Lagers' locker room. "I suppose he did pretty good for a rookie, but I'm not ready to induct him into the hall of fame." Despite the less-than-impressed tone, it was obvious Moss had not only lived up to, but surpassed the coach's expectations. Parcells, eager not to give Moss too big an ego, quickly shifted the subject to the Lagers' terrible running game. "Moss, Irvin, Harrison, they all stepped up because they had to. Watters and Dillon couldn't find the hole to save their lives... or their careers." Bakersfield owner Robb Baker told any one who would listen about how his team was the best according to his scouting department. He excused himself briefly to sign for a UPS shipment from the Jello corporation. Boston Slammin' Lagers Pts Bakersfield Circus Bears Pts Kordell Stewart 27 Jake Plummer 23 Ricky Watters 7 Terry Allen 14 Corey Dillon 9 Marshall Faulk 12 Randy Moss 24 Rob Moore 9 Michael Irvin 16 Eddie Kennison 9 Marvin Harrison 17 Carl Pickens 9 Freddie Jones 3 Shannon Sharpe 14 Jason Hanson 9 Greg Davis 0 49ers 6 Lions 4

67 103 Falcons Blame Fans for Loss TOLEDO, OH--Chris Holly was livid following a lackluster performance by the Falcons. He was making no secret of his thoughts about moving the team. "Last year we wound up one game shy of breaking the .500 mark. I still believe fan support made the difference. If the fans in San Francisco can't turnout to support this team, we'll find fans who can." Holly shrugged off comments about Sunday's game being on the road, over 2000 miles from the Bay Area. Jeff George agreed with his owner. "Hey, we have to make the trip, why shouldn't they? You think we want to come to Toledo. Hell, no, but we're dedicated to this team. If they aren't dedicated to this team, who needs them?"   Maltese Falcons Pts Toledo Neanderthal Pts Jeff George 20 Elvis Grbac 24 Barry Sanders 7 Garrison Hearst 36 Charlie Garner 0 Napolean Kaufman 9 Charles Johnson 14 Antonio Freeman 11 Keenan McCardell 11 Michael Westbrook 6 Jake Reed 1 Chris Sanders 2 Wesley Walls 9 Mark Chmura 7 John Hall 12 John Kasay 2 Buccaneers 8 Steelers 7

Disappointment of the Week Jerome Bettis Texas Sexists One of the players GM Rick Lord was excited to keep from last year's BFL champs, Bettis managed less than 50 yards and was out played by Karim Abdul-Jabbar in a game many expected to be a Sexist blowout. Runners-up Barry Sanders - The MVP candidate barely gets 70 yards as the Falcons get crushed. Irving Fryar - Disappears, unable to catch even one pass from Brett Favre.

124

81

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, a Loss