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Brunell Thankful for Trade LAS VEGAS, NEVADA--It nearly didn't happen, but Mark Brunell started his fourth straight season opener for Sin City. The Grifters hate to think of what could have happened if he hadn't. "I don't even want to think about what would have happened if that trade hadn't happened," Brunell said. "It would be hard enough playing in a different uniform, but having to start my new career here would be unthinkable." Brunell may have been grateful to the Mennonites for approving the trade, but he had a lousy way of showing it. Brunell passed for over 300 yards
The win also added fuel to owner Jake Bell's argument that the Grifters had been short changed in the pre-season polls which rated West Coast number one. Sin City also showed several weaknesses, especially at receiver, which has long been the bane of this team. Carl Pickens, expected to be one of the top wideouts in the league wound up with only two catches. Peerless Price, another part of the Brunell trade, caught the only touchdown. Stephen Davis and Jimmy Smith lived up to the Mennonites' pre-season hype, scoring 3 touchdowns between them, but Donovan McNabb--though promising--was overwhelmed by the expectations of his career debut. McNabb rode the bench behind Peyton Manning and Drew Bledsoe in Boston last season. |
 Stoney Case Bakersfield Circus Bears Used to date the Doritos girl... plays not quite as well.
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ATHENS, GREECE--The ceremony unveiling the Woodchucks championship banner didn't last as long as Athens had hoped. In the greatest disgrace to Greece since the IOC threatened to take away the 2004 Olympics, Mayberry, universally agreed to be the worst team in the league this season--if not ever--managed to take a W back to the Fishin' Hole. "We told 'em," an overly excited Don Knotts bellowed through his oxygen mask, "We still say we'll at least split with every team in the McKay." Credit must be given to Knotts and "Hollywood" Walker who shrugged off numerous attacks to their team by media and other GMs. Instead, through a series of trades, they've actually pieced together a solid starting lineup. About the only question mark was quarterback Brian Griese, who replaced number one draft pick Steve McNair after a trade with Moose River. Griese answered the question with 300 yards passing and 3 TDs. Despite taking the loss, Athens had to be impressed with the performance of Duante Culpepper, their own question mark at quarterback. Culpepper scored all of the team's offensive TDs on runs.
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BAKERSFIELD, VERMONT--No one understood before the game when Stoney Case was named starter ahead of Steve Beuerlein and Brad Johnson. After the game, they understood even less. Despite Marshall Faulk's two touchdowns and Terrell Owens out performing all three of Toledo's vaunted receivers, Bakersfield dropped a winnable game. Case was getting so beaten down by the Raven defense, Terrell Davis and Shannon Sharpe were forced to spend most of their time blocking. After the game, rumors began to spread that Davis was unhappy playing second fiddle to Faulk and wanted to return to Sin City. William Shatner denied them. Sam Rutigliano didn't look like a winning coach in his postgame conference though. "We got lucky," he told his players and the media. "If they hadn't started Case, we'd be 0-1 right now. Our passing is a step above mediocre and our running game is non-existant." Brett Favre, drafted to prevent any quarterback contraversy, has shown the effects of an off-season injury and there are more rumors that GM Gene Bell has been talking about a trade to bring in a back up.
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BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS--This is what they were supposed to look like all along. Powerful running up the middle. A confident young quarterback who can spread the ball around. Speedy, sure-handed receivers. Last year's Boston Lagers redefined the word "disappointment," but if they learned from the experience, all is not lost. "Our franchise is riding on this season. We managed to get a crowd out here," Peyton Manning said, "and we couldn't afford to let them go home with a loss." In deed, the skeptical Boston crowd was quickly won over when Manning hit Qadry Ismail with a long TD strike. Duce Staley gave the Woolfs over 200 yards rushing and two touchdowns, but that only served to balance the loss of Emmitt Smith. The team was simply overwhelmed by the Lagers and their crowd, though they expect to have similar support next week for their home opener against Athens.
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