|
S. Moss Outs-Mosses Moose Moss
MOOSE RIVER--Every expert predicted Moss would dominate the premiere match up of the season. However, Randy Moss spent much of the game watching former teammate Santana Moss take trip after trip to the end zone. Since being held to just one catch in his season debut, Moss has averaged nearly 25
146
|
Fun City Grift-Os | Pts | |
Matt Hasselbeck |
21 | |
Edgerrin James |
20 | |
Deuce McAllister |
16 | |
Santana Moss |
39 | |
Torry Holt |
31 | |
Chad Johnson |
9 | |
Todd Heap |
14 | |
Jeff Wilkins |
4 | |
Ravens |
23 |
| 
73
|
Moose River Mounties | Pts | |
Brad Johnson |
32 | |
Fred Taylor |
15 | |
Jamal Lewis |
9 | |
Randy Moss |
18 | |
Andre Johnson |
8 | |
Joey Galloway |
1 | |
Jeremy Shockey |
13 | |
John Hall |
0 | |
Patsies |
7 |
|
points a game since being reinserted to the lineup three weeks ago.
"This team has signed me ever years since I came out of college," Moss said. "About a month ago, I realized I really hadn't lived up to their expectations and my job was probably on the line. Something just clicked."
Moss wasn't alone in his assault on the McKay's best team. New acquisition Torry Holt lived up to all the hype behind his Grift-O debut catching 11 passes for 200 yards and a TD. Tight end Todd Heap added another touchdown and a two point conversion catch.
"With Steve [McNair] out, I think they really expected us to struggle offensively," smiled Grift-O coach Marv Levy, "but this is just another example of what I'm always saying about what a great team we have top to bottom."
Moose River, now 1-3 since starting the season 5-0, couldn't keep up with the high scoring Fun City offense. "I was lost," admitted Joey Galloway, who managed just one catch, "[offensive coordinator] Coach Dale has me looking to crash the boards and make the outlet pass. You're not allowed to make more than one forward pass on a play, but no one has the heart to tell him. I mean, they guy's like 98."
Opening Loss Revenge
CHARLESTON, WV--As soon as it began, Toledo's season almost seemed to be over. An opening day loss to West Virginia sent the Neanderthal down a path of rebuilding for 2004 while 2003 was less than 10% finished.
That led to the decision by Neanderthal management to trade Marvin Harrison, a move that seemed to stack the Woolfs roster with unequalled talent. Eight weeks after they last met, the Neanderthal may have returned the favor in "ending" the Woolfs season on a late Daunte Culpepper scramble for a touchdown.
"You're not going to find another team with deeper talent for the last three straight years," sighed owner Rick Lord, "but you're also not going to find a team with worse luck in for the last two straight."
"Luck is for old ladies playing bingo," smirked Neanderthal receiver Anquan Boldin. The leading rookie of the year candidate boosted his chances of taking home that prize with six catches, including one for a touchdown. "Marvin Harrison has been a staple of this team for years, and that means our coaches know his strengths and his weaknesses. We managed to exploit those and get a little revenge. What more could you want?"
110
Toledo
Neanderthal | Pts | |
Daunte Culpepper |
38 | |
Michael Pittman |
17 | |
Domanick Davis |
8 | |
Peter Warrick |
16 | |
Anquan Boldin |
15 | |
Plaxico Burress |
10 | |
Randy McMichael |
11 | |
Aaron Elling |
9 | |
Rams |
10 |
| 
108
West Virginia
Woolfs | Pts | |
Donovan McNabb |
33 | |
Ahman Green |
27 | |
Curtis Martin |
9 | |
Darrell Jackson |
16 | |
Laveranues Coles |
11 | |
Marvin Harrison |
9 | |
Mikhael Ricks |
1 | |
Mike Vanderjagt |
14 | |
Panthers |
14 |
|
|
Hottest Team Gets Burned
CHAMBERSBURG, PA--The self-proclaimed "hottest team in football" saw it's flame snuffed out by the defending champs.
"What you guys don't understand is losing doesn't stop us from being the hottest team in football," Circus Bears owner Robert Baker argued. "You know how dry ice is so cold it can burn you? Yeah, that's us now. We got so hot we turned cold. Brrr, baby! Brrr!"
The Bakersfield coldsnap helped cool off a Chameleon locker room on the verge of explosion. Literally. Acting head coach Mick Foley had vowed to set the entire team on fire if they lost this weekend.
"I don't want to burn," a terrified Keyshawn Johnson repeated over and over during and following his ten catch performance. "I don't want to burn."
"Coach Elway was really good at breaking down opposing defenses and giving us an idea of what we needed to do to win," Keenan McCardell explained. "Coach Foley may not have the knowledge to give us a solid gameplan, but if we do anything to upset him he hits us with bats or tosses us on piles of thumbtacks. He's really a master motivator."
36
Bakersfield
Circus Bears | Pts | |
Peyton Manning |
25 | |
Jerome Bettis |
5 | |
Trung Canidate |
0 | |
Isaac Bruce |
10 | |
Koren Robinson |
6 | |
Reggie Wayne |
3 | |
Shannon Sharpe |
5 | |
Martin Gramatica |
2 | |
Raiders |
15 |
| 
77
Chambersburg
Chameleons | Pts | |
Jon Kitna |
14 | |
Charlie Garner |
13 | |
Garrison Hearst |
6 | |
Keyshawn Johnson |
18 | |
Keenan McCardell |
17 | |
Rod Smith |
7 | |
Daniel Graham |
12 | |
Jason Elam |
5 | |
Broncos |
20 |
|
|
Mennonites Move into Tie
BEVERLY HILLS--Three straight wins have catapaulted West Coast to the top of the standings and more than likely a seventh straight postseason appearance. "Moose River is slowing down just as we're coming up," an enthusiastic Amani Toomer grinned.
The Mennonites' domination of the Fifes continued a winning streak that's found the Mennonites deadlocked with the slumping Mounties for first place, though trailing in the points race.
Former Mennonite receiver Hines Ward was one of the few bright spots for a sputtering Mayberry team being left behind in the Williams division. "Technically, we're just a game out of the playoffs," Ward groaned, "but one game might as well be a hundred if we keep playing like we did today."
53
Mayberry
Fifes | Pts | |
Jake Delhomme |
15 | |
Tiki Barber |
13 | |
T.J. Duckett |
12 | |
Hines Ward |
18 | |
Brian Finneran |
7 | |
Rod Gardner |
1 | |
Bubba Franks |
0 | |
Billy Cundiff |
3 | |
Vikings |
6 |
| 
114
West Coast
Mennonites | Pts | |
Brian Griese |
19 | |
LaDainian Tomlinson |
17 | |
Stephen Davis |
15 | |
Amani Toomer |
21 | |
Terry Glenn |
20 | |
Chris Chambers |
13 | |
Alge Crumpler |
1 | |
Adam Vinatieri |
14 | |
Buccaneers |
16 |
|
|
Kerry-ing His Team
ASBURY PARK--With franchise quarterback Jeff Garcia benched due to injury, backup Kerry Collins made the most of his opportunity to start. Passing for 303 yards and two touchdowns and leading his team to a win, Collins may have sparked a quarterback controversy in Beantown.
Garcia has been solid in most of his starts, but has shown signs a preseason back injury was getting the best of him at times. "I'm not trying to take anyone's job," Collins indirectly assured Garcia. "Jeff needs to be 100% for this team if we go to the playoffs and I just want to show I'm capable of filling his role until that time."
East Coast's stumble left the Killah Bees gripping the third playoff spot by virtue of points, but tied with Toledo at 4-5.
82
Boston
Lagers | Pts | |
Kerry Collins |
36 | |
Clinton Portis |
22 | |
Correll Buckhalter |
11 | |
Jimmy Smith |
9 | |
Joe Horn |
6 | |
David Boston |
5 | |
Wesley Walls |
0 | |
Sebastian Janikowski |
9 | |
Eagles |
20 |
| 
72
East Coast
Killah Bees | Pts | |
Marc Bulger |
26 | |
Shaun Alexander |
14 | |
Ricky Williams |
9 | |
Terrell Owens |
9 | |
Jerry Rice |
9 | |
Antonio Bryant |
8 | |
Freddie Jones |
13 | |
John Kasay |
4 | |
Dolphins |
16 |
|
|
|
Santana Moss
Fun City Grift-Os
|
Week Nine Team |
Pts | |
Daunte Culpepper, TOL |
38 | |
Ahman Green, WV |
27 | |
Clinton Portis, BOS |
22 | |
Santana Moss, FUN |
39 | |
Torry Holt, FUN |
31 | |
Amani Toomer, WC |
21 | |
Todd Heap, FUN |
14 |
Mike Vanderjagt, WV
Adam Vinatieri, WC |
14 | |
Ravens, FUN |
23 |
|
Disappointment of the Week |
Joey Galloway
Moose River Mounties
|
All-Dissappointment Team |
Pts | |
Jon Kitna, CHAM |
14 | |
Trung Canidate, BAK |
0 | |
Jerome Bettis, BAK |
5 | |
Marty Booker, EAST |
0 | |
Joey Galloway, MOOS |
1 | |
Rod Gardner, MAY |
1 |
Bubba Franks, MAY
Wesley Walls, BOS |
0 | |
John Hall, MOOS |
0 | |
Vikings, MAY |
6 |
|
