|
No Shows Cost Killah Bees Berth
MAYBERY, NC--With West Coast and Toledo both losing, all East Coast needed was a win against the worst team in the Williams Division to be the first team this season to clinch a playoff berth
78
|
East Coast Killah Bees | Pts | |
Drew Brees |
18 | |
Shaun Alexander |
17 | |
Ricky Williams |
9 | |
Jimmy Smith |
24 | |
Marty Booker |
7 | |
Torry Holt |
7 | |
Tony Gonzalez |
0 | |
Jason Elam |
0 | |
Buccaneers |
18 |
| 
81
|
Mayberry Fifes | Pts | |
David Carr |
7 | |
Anthony Thomas |
18 | |
Eddie George |
13 | |
Keyshawn Johnson |
29 | |
Curtis Conway |
15 | |
Tim Brown |
1 | |
Christian Fauria |
8 | |
Martin Gramatica |
8 | |
Chargers |
4 |
|
and tie for the division title. Sadly, when Jason Elam and Tony Gonzalez heard the news, they opted to remain in New Jersey to plan a "playoff berth and division title tie clinching party" for the team, but didn't pass this information along to coach Leroy Hoard.
"If I'd just taken a role call or something," Hoard grumbled dispondantly, "I could have started Freddie Jones and picked up Jason Hanson or something." Instead, Jones sat on the bench watching his team drop a three point game to Mayberry.
"Look at this!" an angry Brad Johnson shouted to the crowd as his team stuffed Ricky Williams at the line of scrimmage. "I could probably pass for five touchdowns against these sissies." Johnson went on to point out while the Fifes are in last place in the Williams division, they would be in second place in the McKay. Mayberry is 2-1 versus McKay opponents while 0-4 against teams from its own division that aren't named after ursine circus performers.
Woolfs Wail at Williams
PUEBLO--Most West Virginia fans doubted they'd see four loses all season, much less in a rown. The 3-6 Woolfs dropped another decision to a Williams Division opponent, leaving them 0-4 against the sister division and dreading a pending match up with West Coast in two weeks.
Despite a vintage performance by reigning Lee Roy Selmon Award winner Ahman Green, West Virginia's passing game continued to cost the team victory. "We have a quarterback who has rushed for a hundred yards twice this season out of necessity," complains coach John Cooper. "Green and [Priest] Holmes draw eight and nine men into the box, but our receivers still can't get open." The team's losing ways will likely cost Holmes, seemingly a lock for the Selmon Award this season, any consideration for the honor. Quarterback Donovan McNabb would also be a favorite.
Instead, the Woolfs top players will likely watch Rich Gannon carry away the award just as his team carried the win off the field Sunday. While Gannon posted his worst game of the season, he still managed better numbers than McNabb while receivers Terrell Owens and Hines Ward each single-handedly outscored the Woolf receiving corps.
Despite lower than average scoring, the Prairiedogs remain on pace to set a team scoring record, surpassing the 2000 Boston Lagers mark of 1972 points.
70
West Virginia
Woolfs | Pts | |
Donovan McNabb |
20 | |
Ahman Green |
29 | |
Travis Henry |
8 | |
David Patten |
11 | |
Amani Toomer |
6 | |
David Boston |
1 | |
Todd Heap |
9 | |
Ryan Longwell |
6 | |
Dolphins |
18 |
| 
79
Pueblo
Prairiedogs | Pts | |
Rich Gannon |
22 | |
Charlie Garner |
15 | |
Duce Staley |
6 | |
Terrell Owens |
24 | |
Hines Ward |
20 | |
Dennis Northcutt |
3 | |
Randy McMichaels |
2 | |
Olindo Mare |
5 | |
Eagles |
20 |
|
|
Bears Mauled
BEVERLY HILLS--Peyton Manning put up season high numbers. Unfortunately, Tom Brady matched them. Despite the astronomical contributions made by Bakersfield's big two as always, Manning and Marshall Faulk stood no chance against West Coast.
Up until now, critics have debated whether Bakersfield could honestly expect to win with the two-man attack, but after nine games there isn't much left to discuss. Rumors circulate throughout Vermont saying Keenan McCardell missed Sunday's game out of protest for his team's poor plan of attack.
Bakersfield hasn't been to the playoffs since 1998, the longest streak of any BFL franchise.
On the other side of the field and the opposite end of the spectrum, the Mennonites are the only franchise never to miss the playoffs and sem poised for a sixth straight appearance. Still, West Coast knows improvements can still be made.
"Looking back," muses coach Mike Ditka, "I bet if I'd put Antowain Smith in there against this defense he could have gone for about three touchdowns and a hundred yards or more."
66
Bakersfield
Circus Bears | Pts | |
Peyton Manning |
49 | |
Marshall Faulk |
31 | |
Emmitt Smith |
3 | |
Terry Glenn |
4 | |
Qadry Ismail |
4 | |
Keenan McCardell |
0 | |
Ken Dilger |
7 | |
Mike Hollis |
1 | |
49ers |
16 |
| 
105
West Coast
Mennonites | Pts | |
Tom Brady |
49 | |
LaDainian Tomlinson |
14 | |
James Stewart |
11 | |
Jerry Porter |
15 | |
Laveranues Coles |
9 | |
Eric Moulds |
9 | |
Marcus Pollard |
9 | |
Adam Vinatieri |
5 | |
Steelers |
33 |
|
|
Grifters... Win?
LAS VEGAS--The debate over the best rushing tandem in the BFL has died down since the early season, but Sin City made a convincing case for an unlikely pair: Kenny Watson and Mike Alstott. With Edgerrin James injured and Deuce McAllister sitting out to mourn the passing of Run DMC DJ Jam Master Jay, Watson and Alstott made their first starts of the season and came away with 165 yards on the ground and a touchdown.
However, with the switch, the game was closer than the Grifters had hoped. "Honestly, when the game was over," admits general manager Jake Bell, "I thought we'd lost." The Packers defense gave up a late drive to the Neanderthal, culminating in a Curtis Martin drive. Bell conceded the game to his father, Judge Gene Bell, owner of the Toledo franchise. It wasn't until Bell left the stadium when he learned of his miscalculation.
"Yeah," groaned the Judge, "what a Cinderella story. Isn't that great?"
The Grifters, who have already lost several close, high scoring games on contoversial calls, feared the same might happen again. Two Neanderthal fumbles were ruled incomplete passes, and when the second was overturned on review, the Grifters were told they couldn't get credit for recovering it. Randy Moss also had a long touchdown called back on a phantom holding call early in the game.
68
Toledo
Neanderthal | Pts | |
Tim Couch |
21 | |
Curtis Martin |
16 | |
Corey Dillon |
9 | |
Marvin Harrison |
25 | |
Jerry Rice |
11 | |
Plaxico Burress |
8 | |
Chad Lewis |
4 | |
Jose Cortez |
11 | |
Rams |
30 |
| 
70
Sin City
Grifters | Pts | |
Drew Bledsoe |
29 | |
Kenny Watson |
17 | |
Mike Alstott |
15 | |
Rod Gardner |
13 | |
Donald Driver |
7 | |
Randy Moss |
6 | |
Bubba Franks |
3 | |
Jeff Wilkins |
10 | |
Packers |
37 |
|
|
Four All the Marbles
MOOSE RIVER--"When I was young," Lagers coach Bill Cowher recollected, "my dad gave me a very important piece of advice, but I never really applied it to my life until this season. 'If you're no good at something,' he told me, 'just give up and quit looking like an idiot. Fold the tents and pee on the fire. What's the point in putting a lot of effort into something if you're not going to get anything out of it?' So we did and look at us now!"
After an 0-5 start, the Lagers have strung together four straight wins and leapfrogged Toledo and West Virginia in the standings. Next week, they're eyeing a .500 mark with Mayberry coming to town.
Of course, Boston is trying to keep in perspective the fact two of their four wins came a the expense of a Moose River team whose quarterbacks averaged two points per game in the last three weeks and zero points per game in the last two.
"I don't think we've quit enough," agreed owner Sam Adams. "We've dumped Anthony Thomas and Tony Gonzalez, but we've still got to unload Chad Pennington, Brian Griese, and Jerome Bettis. I figure each is worth a second round pick. At this rate, I should be able to draft the whole 2003 team by the fifth round."
62
Boston
Lagers | Pts | |
Jeff Garcia |
44 | |
Kevan Barlow |
6 | |
Warrick Dunn |
6 | |
Corey Bradford |
8 | |
Derrick Mason |
7 | |
Troy Brown |
5 | |
Byron Chamberlain |
0 | |
David Akers |
13 | |
Browns |
14 |
| 
27
Moose River
Mounties | Pts | |
Joey Harrington |
0* | |
Jamal Lewis |
6 | |
Fred Taylor |
1 | |
Peerless Price |
21 | |
Joey Galloway |
9 | |
Antonio Bryant |
1 | |
Jeremy Shockey |
3 | |
John Carney |
0 | |
Titans |
27 |
*BFL rules do not allow for negative scoring. Joey Harrington's score would have been -1. |
|
|
Keyshawn Johnson
Mayberry Fifes
|
Week Eight Team |
Pts |
Tom Brady, WC
Peyton Manning, BAK |
49 | |
Marshall Faulk, BAK |
31 | |
Ahman Green, WV |
29 | |
Keyshawn Johnson, MAY |
29 | |
Marvin Harrison, TOL |
25 |
Terrell Owens, PBLO
Jimmy Smith, EAST |
24 |
Todd Heap, WV
Marcus Pollard, WC |
9 | |
David Akers, BOS |
13 | |
Steelers, WC |
33 |
|
Disappointment of the Week |
David Boston
West Virginia Woolfs
|
All-Dissappointment Team |
Pts | |
Joey Harrington, MOOS |
-1 | |
Fred Taylor, MOOS |
1 | |
Emmitt Smith, BAK |
3 | |
Keenan McCardell, BAK |
0 |
David Boston, WV
Tim Brown, MAY |
1 | |
Antonio Bryant, MOOS |
1 |
Byron Chamberlain, BOS
Tony Gonzalez, EAST |
0 |
John Carney, MOOS
Jason Elam, EAST |
0 | |
Chargers, MAY |
4 |
|
