Standings

Depleated TOLEDO, OH--Some of their best players may have been sitting on the bench, but the Woolfs and Neanderthal didn't let that stop them from continuing to to lead the league in scoring. The two top offensive teams squared off in a lower scoring affair than some might have expected, but only one team could leave with 52 West Virginia Woolfs Pts Michael Vick 12 Warrick Dunn 14 Ahman Green 8 Laveranues Coles 12 Javon Walker 12 Keary Colbert 6 Antonio Gates 16 John Kasay 4 Falcons 24 61 Toledo Neanderthal Pts Chad Pennington 8 Bubba Wells 15 Jamal Lewis 13 Derrick Mason 24 Isaac Bruce 13 Jerry Porter 4 Bubba Franks 4 John Carney 4 Jets 32 a victory. According to Woolfs general manager Rick Lord, the results were inevitable. "We're cursed," Lord confessed. "Year in and year out we put together one of the best rosters in the draft and every year we get crushed. Last week, Peyton Manning continued his personal quest to destroy us; this week, the Neanderthal addedthe Jets Saturday afternoon, never let them practice, and watched them turn in the best defensive performance of the week. "It makes me wish I'd never defiled that mummy's tomb." The Neanderthal, off to the team's best start since 1999, notched the win despite a disappointing performance from Chad Pennington, Daunte Culpepper's heir apparent at quarterback. Pennington, formerly of the Woolfs, admitted his mind was elsewhere during the game. "I started having flashbacks when I saw Mr. Lord," said Pennington. "I mean I still have nightmares of the day I saw him digging up that Indian graveyard and smashing mirrors over the long dead skulls." 97 Athenian Woodchucks Pts Donovan McNabb 24 Priest Holmes 24 Curtis Martin 23 Jimmy Smith 13 Rod Gardner 4 Peerless Price 3 Boo Williams 6 Matt Stover 0 Titans 2 88 West Coast Mennonites Pts Tom Brady 31 Emmitt Smith 26 Mike Alstott 3 David Givens 9 Ashlie Lelie 1 Justin McCareins 1 Marcus Pollard 11 Adam Vinatieri 8 Colts 8 64 Mayberry Fifes Pts Jake Plummer 13 DeShaun Foster 16 Duce Staley 6 Reche Caldwell 20 Hines Ward 10 Andre Davis 9 Alge Crumpler 10 Mike Vanderjagt 7 Chiefs 18 68 Moose River Mounties Pts Brett Favre 15 LaDainian Tomlinson 22 Corey Dillon 18 Donte Stallworth 8 Rod Smith 6 Cedrick Wilson 4 Tony Gonzalez 6 John Hall 7 Patsies 27 103 Seaside Squid Pts Marc Bulger 24 Edgerrin James 19 Rudi Johnson 18 Terrell Owens 21 Joe Horn 9 Plaxico Burress 8 Randy McMichael 8 Jason Elam 13 Dolphins 21 59 Beaver State Woodies Pts Kerry Collins 6 Brian Westbrook 24 Clinton Portis 11 David Terrell 14 Marvin Harrison 12 Torry Holt 4 Desmond Clark 2 Jeff Wilkins 6 Redskins 17 91 Sin City Grifters Pts Byron Leftwich 34 Aaron Stecker 9 Fred Taylor 8 Andre Johnson 19 Chad Johnson 7 Santana Moss 2 Eric Johnson 17 David Akers 18 Ravens 9 103 Bakersfield Circus Bears Pts Peyton Manning 29 Marshall Faulk 14 Travis Henry 10 Eric Moulds 25 Amani Toomer 5 Reggie Wayne 3 Jeremy Shockey 15 Jay Feely 10 Eagles 23

Player of the Week Eric Moulds Bakersfield Circus Bears Week Three Team Pts Byron Leftwich, SIN 34 Emmitt Smith, WC 26 Priest Holmes, ATH Brian Westbrook, BEAV 24 Eric Moulds, BAK 25 Derrick Mason, TOL 24 Terrell Owens, SEA 21 Eric Johnson, SIN 17 David Akers, SIN 18 Jets, TOL 32 Disappointments of the Week Ravens Sin City Grifters All-Dissappointment Team Pts Kerry Collins, BEAV 6 Mike Alstott, WC 3 Duce Staley, MAY 6 Ashlie Lelie, WC 0 Justin McCareins, WC 1 Santana Moss, SIN 2 Desmond Clark, BEAV 2 John Carney, TOL John Kasay, WV 3 Titans, ATH 2