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Taylor-Made Victory
CHARLESTON, WV--Who had Fred Taylor in the pool?
Every week, a different Mountie steps up with outrageous numbers and every week Moose River takes home another victory in spite of the so-called experts who
122
|
Moose River Mounties | Pts | |
Brad Johnson |
45 | |
Fred Taylor |
30 | |
Troy Hambrick |
6 | |
Randy Moss |
23 | |
Johnny Morton |
9 | |
J.J. Stokes |
0 | |
Jeremy Shockey |
18 | |
Morton Andersen |
6 | |
Chiefs |
10 |
| 
66
|
West Virginia Woolfs | Pts | |
Donovan McNabb |
10 | |
Ahman Green |
24 | |
Priest Holmes |
10 | |
Laveranues Coles |
9 | |
Terrell Owens |
7 | |
Donté Stallworth |
2 | |
Dallas Clark |
6 | |
Jay Feely |
8 | |
Panthers |
15 |
|
pick against them.
Fred Taylor managed to exploit a Panther defense some called "the best in the league." While he managed just 87 yards and a touchdown on the ground, he made the difference in the game by breaking loose for a 60 yard TD reception.
Randy Moss continued his MVP campaign with two more touchdown catches, leading Moose River to just the fourth 5-0 start of any team in BFL history (Athens in 1997, 1998, and Sin City a day earlier).
"Last week, [Peyton] Manning tore us a new one," griped coach Cole Ford, "now Moss seems to have a mad-on for us. What the hell!?!" The Woolfs made it clear the team was hoping to nab Moss, a West Virginia native, with the fifth pick of the draft. Instead, Moose River surprised many by taking him first overall.
"It's nothing personal," Moss laughed. "I destroy everyone equally."
Big Rivalry, Small Scores
BEVERLY HILLS--If this is what the BFL holds up as its premier rivalry, the league may want to look into the Aaron Shea Bowl or Rodent Wars to take that title. In a game high on intensity and low on execution, Fun City edged out a victory.
"Fugly," grunted Mennonite running back LaDainian Tomlinson. "I don't know what else to call it. We played hard, but we played sloppy and made life too easy for the defense."
The same could be said for the Grift-Os who continued their best start in team history despite having rookie of the year candidate Matt Hasselbeck most likely play his way out of the starting quarterback job, failing to lead his team to a single touchdown on the ground or in the air.
"We may be 5-0," confessed coach Marv Levy, "but we're not that far from being 3-2 or 2-3. This is hardly the best team out there and if we keep relying on close wins and luck, we're going to be disappointed come playoff time."
48
Fun City
Grift-Os | Pts | |
Matt Hasselbeck |
15 | |
Deuce McAllister |
19 | |
T.J. Duckett |
8 | |
Donald Driver |
12 | |
Chad Johnson |
9 | |
Charles Rogers |
7 | |
Jim Flyingsaucer |
0 | |
Jeff Wilkins |
0 | |
Vikings |
28 |
| 
42
West Coast
Mennonites | Pts | |
Drew Bledsoe |
19 | |
Stephen Davis |
18 | |
LaDainian Tomlinson |
4 | |
Amani Toomer |
5 | |
Hines Ward |
5 | |
Chris Chambers |
4 | |
Alge Crumpler |
6 | |
Adam Vinatieri |
9 | |
Redskins |
22 |
|
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David's Boston
BOSTON--When the Lagers drafted him, it seemed a natural fit--and not just because of his history of drinking problems. David Boston made his mark on his namesake city with a career day, catching 14 passes and taking two into the end zone.
Boston was just one of the stars who finally put up the types of numbers fans expected them to post all season long. "There's no doubt we've been disappointing this season," coach Bill Cowher admitted. "We caught some bad breaks and some of our guys have played well below their capabilities, but hopefully this was the hiccup that will put us back on track."
While the Lagers scored almost as many points in this game as their last three combined, the downward spiral continued for Chambersburg and the self-proclaimed "worst team in the league."
"I'd have to check the record books," groaned quarterback Rich Gannon, "but I can't think of a more lopsided loss than this."
33
Chambersburg
Chameleons | Pts | |
Rich Gannon |
3 | |
Amos Zereoue |
13 | |
Charlie Garner |
10 | |
Rod Smith |
20 | |
Keyshawn Johnson |
8 | |
Todd Pinkston |
3 | |
Doug Jolley |
7 | |
Jason Elam |
12 | |
Titans |
4 |
| 
155
Boston
Lagers | Pts | |
Jeff Garcia |
30 | |
Clinton Portis |
32 | |
Kevlar Barnum |
6 | |
David Boston |
40 | |
Derrick Mason |
14 | |
Ike Hilliard |
9 | |
Tony Gonazalez |
12 | |
Sebastian Janikowski |
16 | |
Cowboys |
43 |
|
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Singed Toledo Talks Fire Sale
TOLEDO, OH--Less than 12 hours after being traded to Toledo, William Green was in uniform and the starting lineup. As impressive as his hundred-plus yard performance was, it did little to quiet the angry whispers of Neanderthal fans missing star receiver Marvin Harrison.
"I guess that's the tag that will stay with me this season," Green said. "The guy who got traded for Marvin Harrison. That's okay. Marvin Harrison used to have to be 'the guy who got traded for Randall Cunningham,' so I can live with it."
Green wasn't the only player in a new uniform for the game. Earlier in the week, receiver Kevin Johnson was practicing with the Neanderthals. Sunday he was starting against them.
"I was a little disappointed to have to go," Johnson shrugged, "but I have a history with the Killah Bees and--most important--I'm leaving here with the win."
90
East Coast
Killah Bees | Pts | |
Gus Frerotte |
27 | |
Shaun Alexander |
16 | |
Ricky Williams |
12 | |
Terrell Owens |
16 | |
Kevin Johnson |
10 | |
Jerry Rice |
6 | |
Ernie Conwell |
6 | |
John Carney |
7 | |
Dolphins |
23 |
| 
68
Toledo
Neanderthal | Pts | |
Brett Favre |
29 | |
Michael Pittman |
16 | |
William Green |
12 | |
Plaxico Burress |
8 | |
Anquan Boldin |
5 | |
Ashley Lelie |
5 | |
Randy McMichael |
5 | |
David Akers |
11 | |
Steelers |
10 |
|
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Manning with a Mission
BAKERSFIELD, VT--"Who would have thought," chuckled owner Robert Baker, "that Jerome Bettis and Rudy Whateverhisnameis would play better than Marshall Faulk and Curtis Martin have?"
Rudi Johnson, unemployed until hours before the game started and lucky enough to be hanging out in the stadium parking lot, rushed for 69 yards and a touchdown despite no one knowing his name until after halftime and wearing a jersey with Stephen Davis's number and name on it from last season.
"It's easy when you have Manning back there picking apart their defense and leaving those big holes to run in," Johnson smiled. For a third straight week, Manning led all quarterbacks in scoring, but the win was even easier considering two of Mayberry's receivers didn't even show up for the game.
Torry Holt called in, coughing on the phone around halftime. Reports say he apologized for not calling sooner but was too sick to come into work. Holt and Chrebet were later featured in a Field & Stream article for catching a 14 pound flounder.
50
Mayberry
Fifes | Pts | |
Jake Plummer |
21 | |
Tiki Barber |
18 | |
Eddie George |
5 | |
Rod Gardner |
4 | |
Wayne Chrebet |
0 | |
Torry Holt |
0 | |
Bubba Franks |
5 | |
Billy Cundiff |
8 | |
Buccaneers |
12 |
| 
103
Bakersfield
Circus Bears | Pts | |
Peyton Manning |
51 | |
Rudi Johnson |
13 | |
Jerome Bettis |
6 | |
Eric Moulds |
15 | |
Koren Robinson |
13 | |
Reggie Wayne |
7 | |
Shannon Sharpe |
5 | |
Martin Gramatica |
5 | |
49ers |
11 |
|
|
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David Boston
Boston Lagers
|
Week Five Team |
Pts | |
Peyton Manning, BAK |
51 | |
Clinton Portis, BOS |
32 | |
Fred Taylor, MOOS |
30 | |
David Boston, BOS |
40 | |
Randy Moss, MOOS |
23 | |
Rod Smith, CHAM |
20 | |
Jeremy Shockey, MOOS |
18 | |
Sebastian Janikowski, BOS |
16 | |
Cowboys, BOS |
43 |
|
Disappointment of the Week |
LaDainian Tomlinson
West Coast Mennonites
|
All-Dissappointment Team |
Pts | |
Rich Gannon, CHAM |
3 | |
LaDainian Tomlinson, WC |
4 | |
Eddie George, MAY |
5 | |
Wayne Chrebet, MAY |
0 | |
Torry Holt, MAY |
0 | |
J.J. Stokes, MOOS |
0 | |
Jim Flyingsaucer, FUN |
0 | |
Jeff Wilkins, FUN |
0 | |
Titans, CHAM |
4 |
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