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Honolulu's Miracle Season Comes "Untied" ATHENS, GREECE--Woodchucks PR director Mick Foley made a bold statement, even if he did do it secretively. "A losing record is unacceptable. We have to win out... we will win out." A bold statement considering when it was made the Woodchucks had only two wins and were fresh off four consecutive losses to four teams with losing records. Looking ahead to the Dissidents, Headbangers, and Wombats was not as intimidating as you might expect. "We took a vote," explained
Two weeks later, the Woodchucks are on a pace to make Foley a prophet and Honolulu's dreams of the best regular season record in BFL history are... well, history. The win adds the Woodchucks to the Mennonites as the only teams to be undeafeated by the Headbangers this season. Toledo can join the list with a win against Honolulu next week. It wasn't all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows for Athens though as Antonio Freeman sat out most of the game with a concussion. Foley, who wrestled more than half of Hell in the Cell 2 with a concussion expects more from his players. Moose Muhammad, who last week played with rib injuries which caused him to spit blood, and his teammates admitted they were disappointed in Freeman. |
 Lions Defense Bakersfield Circus Bears Cannot stop alledgedly "banged-up" Brett Farve, Emmitt Smith, Olandis Gary, and Curtis Conway.
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BAKERSFIELD, VERMONT--They were bruised, battered, and scarred... but hard. Anyone expecting the Dissidents to roll over and play dead, conceding the division title and first round bye just because of a few boo-boos was in for a surprise on Sunday. Brett Favre threw for over 300 yards, mostly on short touch passes which would put strain on his injured thumb. Emmitt Smith returned from breaking his wrist two weeks ago to rush for 127 yards. Orlandis Gary ran for 95 yards and the game winning touchdown on an injured toe. Curtis Conway also made his return to the lineup after missing five weeks with a strained ankle. Bakersfield's lack of a consistant running game cost them again as Antowain Smith struggled for six yards on the ground.
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MAYBERRY, NORTH CAROLINA--Without Terrell Davis, the Grifters are not considered the top rushing threat in the BFL anymore. Ricky Watters would like to change that. "We got a wake up call this week," Watters said. "We've had plenty of excuses for why this season hasn't gone the way we'd hoped, but by relying on those excuses, we were excusing ourselves right out of the playoff hunt." Watters had the best game of his BFL career, rushing for over 100 yards and two touchdowns, while catching another TD. Joe Paterno was all smiles after the game, saying, "Wow, that Watters guy is good! Anybody know what time it is? It's a half past twenty-thousand two-hundred minutes until I get fired."
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TOLEDO, OHIO--Before the season started, you couldn't find a Lagers T-shirt anywhere in Boston. Even the bootleg silk-screeners on the street couldn't keep up with demand. Today, if you want a T-shirt (coffee mug, bobbing head doll, keychain, etc.) you'll have no problem finding them. Picked as one of the top two teams in the BFL and a favorite to win the Bucco Bruce Bowl, Boston's loss eliminated them from the playoffs. Owner Sam Adams tried to trade some of his top talent for picks in next year's draft. The players garnered about as much interest as a Lager Beanie Baby. Among the players Adams tried to unload, only Pete Mitchell wound up leaving for Sin City. Drew Bledsoe and Randy Moss attracted half hearted offers, but little more. Both sat out against Toledo.
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z-Clinched Division Title |
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