Road Warriors Woodchucks Advance Without Home Field HONOLULU, HAWAII--When the Woodchucks left the field Sunday, they raised two fingers. Some would interpret it at a "V" for victory in the tradition of 89 62 Winston Churchill. Instead it was to remind the fans in G.G. Allin Memorial Stadium that this was the second time Athens had beaten the previously thought invincible Headbangers. "No one gave us a chance," Antonio Freeman shouted over the postgame celebration. "Go look at the preseason polls. Nobody gave a chance in MVP Moose Muhammad hell of being here." Some traditionalists questioned whether the Woodchucks and Grifters should even be allowed to play in the post-season considering their inability to put together even a .500 season. However, for all of Honolulu's wins, they had no chance against the Woodchucks. "Before the game, you could just see Moose was ready to explode," Errict Rhett said of Athenian Woodchucks Pts Brad Johnson 22 Duce Staley 9 Errict Rhett 7 Moose Muhammad 37 Wayne Chrebet 15 Antonio Freeman 8 Ricky Dudley 4 Brett Conway 7 St. Louis Rams 29 Honolulu Headbangers Pts Jon Kitna 22 Edgerrin James 28 Robert Smith 5 Tim Brown 13 Mike Pritchard 9 Isaac Bruce 4 Wesley Walls 6 Jason Hanson 4 San Diego Chargers 20 the Woodchucks star receiver. Muhammad caught three touchdowns, taunting the Jaguars defense as they were relagated to sideline duty. The Jaguars absence confused nearly everyone in watching. "Come on," said linebacker Kevin Hardy, "we worked hard this season. How are you going to tell us we don't get to be a part of the party when we're part of the reason we got invited?" To further add to the irony, while the Woodchucks were accepting the McKay Division Cup, the Jaguars were informed they would be taking home the Williams Award as the league's regular season most valuable player. "Ain't that a kick in the ass," sighed safety Carnell Lake. Since going 8-1-1 to start the season, the Headbangers have collapsed, going 1-3 in the last five weeks. "I think we started to take things for granted," Jon Kitna said. "We spent more time reading our press than we did reading ou playbooks."

Goin' Back to Tampa Beurlein Sets Playoff Record BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA--After openly praising what many saw as a weakness, the Toledo Neanderthal may finally see what everyone meant. After last week's 38 100 abhortion between Toledo and Beijing, the Neanderthal chose to shake up their roster further, adding Lager reject Gus Frerotte at quarterback. "Going to the playoffs is like going to prom," said one BFL general manager. "You've got to dance with MVP Steve Beurlein the guy who brought you there." Earlier in the week, Toledo lobbied for coach Sam Rutigliano to win his second straight John McKay Trophy as top coach of the season. Part of the case made, was that Rutigliano was able to win with so little consistancy in his lineups. For the second straight week, running back Priest Holmes and the Neanderthal defense, both familiar with Toledo's system, were the only bright spots. While the Neanderthal receivers ran the proper routes and knew what they were doing, Frerotte was lost, Toledo Neanderthal Pts Gus Frerotte 0* Priest Holmes 14 Chris Warren 4 Keenan McCardell 14 Germane Crowell 5 Michael Westbrook 4 Roland Wiliams 1 Mike Hollis 7 Baltimore Ravens 32 *BFL rules prohibit negative scoring. Gus Frerotte's score would have been -1. West Coast Mennonites Pts Steve Beurlein 62 Curtis P. Enis 7 Stephen Davis 7 Jimmy Smith 16 Joey Galloway 5 Cris Carter 0 Tony Gonzalez 24 Adam Vinatieri 11 Indianapolis Colts 11 throwing more passes to the Colts defense than he did to Michael Westbrook. To place all the blame on Toledo discredits a team which may be the greatest in the BFL's history. Including Sunday's playoff game, the Mennonites have won by an average score of 116 to 50 in the past seven games. They already tied the Woodchucks best regular season record of 11-2, but have surpassed that team by winning in the playoffs and advancing to the Bucco Bruce Bowl. "It's baby steps," laughed coach Mike Ditka, who, incidentally, edged out Rutigliano for his second McKay Trophy. "Our first year, we won the division, but didn't advance to the Bucco Bruce. Last year, we went to the Bowl, but we lost it. It's just natural progression." Steve Beurlein, in only his second start for West Coast, set a playoff record with 62 points on four touchdowns and nearly perfect passing. Beurlein, who was targetted in trade talks by many general managers during the season, admitted he's glad West Coast let him stay. "I probably could have gone somewhere else and gotten a lot more publicity and attention, but I'll bet you Kurt Warner would trade places with me in a heartbeat right now," Beurlein said as he slipped the Williams Division '99 Champions cap on his head.